me trying to tell a story: so yeah like, he said, or no, wait, first she was like.... i don't remember, but it's not important to the story 'cause... wait, yeah it is, but, i don't know man, it was just weird you know 'cause.. i don't know
tumbler-teen: who cares if school doesn’t teach us how to raise a family or get a job like at least I can find the area of a triangle.
psilentasincjelli: If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and...
pizzaforpresident: if i was trapped inside a room filled with explosives and the only way out was to eat a whole tomato i would die
basically all my sentences start with one of these ok so basically omg no but seriously actually ok wow ok wow (or wow ok) wait but wait no wait wait what guys oh wow so like
me: does one sit-up
me: checks for abs
i cant sleep but im sleepy do you see my fuckin problem
To me, songs are kind of like bookmarks. Have you ever listened to a song that you haven’t heard in a while, and all of a sudden, all the memories of that time period come back, and you remember what your life used to be like. They’re like milestones in your life.
mermaidsandmisandry: things i dont need in my life: wasps those stringy things on the banana commercials on youtube
dinnerpartydan: That awkward moment when you ran up the stairs and now you’re trying to hide your heavy breathing like it’s no big deal but you’re actually pretty winded and dear god you need to work out.
getting an 80% on a test in 8th grade: (loud wailing that lasts at least an hour followed by a sinking feeling of despair and uselessness)
getting an 80% on a test now: (power slides down the hall while singing the national anthem)
i’m a good person i deserve to meet celebrities
cantankerouscrab: hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today
njena: i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells
lurisc: school doesnt even test your intelligence it tests your memory so god damn accurate
karkaties: if i lay here if i just lay here yep im just laying here not gonna stop laying here